No fun, I'm afraid
This is a post not so much to update you but to ask for your sympathy, sim patico or feeling allongside a person.
Some of this news is known by some of you, but the whole news by none in detail, so here it is.
Two weeks ago thursday, my grandfather passes away. It was peacefull and expected and although it was sad, I was happy to see him out of his suffering. I won't say something trite about him being in a better place. The grief I feel is an entirely selfish one and won't be helped by knowing he is sipping coffee with grandma and Jesus. His death was hard because I had lived with him for 3 years, and during that time, my grandmother had died. I'm not only losing a grandfather, but a place to ground my memories of him in. His house will be sold, and all the trinkets they've collected over the years will be carefully divided.
The funeral was last weekend, and I had decided to fly down to be there with my family as we mourn his passing. The day before I fly out, I was woken by the news that my friend Anne Jackson had collapsed during a regular cross country practice. This is Anne in England.
She was healthy, happy, driven, anything positive you could think of for a young woman to be. She was a beatifull singer, highly committed and one of the cheeriest persons you could meet. Her loss the day before I left for my grandfathers funeral was indescribable. She worked with me in the office at times, besides being my friend, so I'm surrounded by memories. I wish you all could have met her. She was one of the good people in life. of which we have far too few.
Yesterday, I went to the doctors to be tested for Allergies. I'm still dealing with health issues, so I decided to keep plodding along to try and find out if it really was all in my head. The doctor administered a breathing test as a precaution, and we discovered I was only using 57 percent of my lungs. I have Asthma, which has been untreated for some time. The good news is, I have a perfectly rational explanation for why my body has been rebelling. The Asthma contributes to the Neurocardiogenic Syncope episodes I've been having. I wasn't able to get tested for Allergies due to the Asthma, but the doctor could tell I was dealing with something. So between the untreated Asthma, the fainting and the allergies I hope to have found all my solutions for my ongoing health issues. The bad news is, I have to take a concentrated dose of medication for a month. I walked out of the office with 6 different prescriptions for medication. all of which should be taken daily. I panicked today, because of all the drugs, and all the precautions I need to take. Now that I know the logic behind what is happening, I worry more.
Good has happened as well these last two weeks. I got to see my two ridiculously cute nephews for three whole days. I got to talk to family members I've not seen in a while. And again, my faith in my friends and family is ever increasing.
Some of this news is known by some of you, but the whole news by none in detail, so here it is.
Two weeks ago thursday, my grandfather passes away. It was peacefull and expected and although it was sad, I was happy to see him out of his suffering. I won't say something trite about him being in a better place. The grief I feel is an entirely selfish one and won't be helped by knowing he is sipping coffee with grandma and Jesus. His death was hard because I had lived with him for 3 years, and during that time, my grandmother had died. I'm not only losing a grandfather, but a place to ground my memories of him in. His house will be sold, and all the trinkets they've collected over the years will be carefully divided.
The funeral was last weekend, and I had decided to fly down to be there with my family as we mourn his passing. The day before I fly out, I was woken by the news that my friend Anne Jackson had collapsed during a regular cross country practice. This is Anne in England.
She was healthy, happy, driven, anything positive you could think of for a young woman to be. She was a beatifull singer, highly committed and one of the cheeriest persons you could meet. Her loss the day before I left for my grandfathers funeral was indescribable. She worked with me in the office at times, besides being my friend, so I'm surrounded by memories. I wish you all could have met her. She was one of the good people in life. of which we have far too few.
Yesterday, I went to the doctors to be tested for Allergies. I'm still dealing with health issues, so I decided to keep plodding along to try and find out if it really was all in my head. The doctor administered a breathing test as a precaution, and we discovered I was only using 57 percent of my lungs. I have Asthma, which has been untreated for some time. The good news is, I have a perfectly rational explanation for why my body has been rebelling. The Asthma contributes to the Neurocardiogenic Syncope episodes I've been having. I wasn't able to get tested for Allergies due to the Asthma, but the doctor could tell I was dealing with something. So between the untreated Asthma, the fainting and the allergies I hope to have found all my solutions for my ongoing health issues. The bad news is, I have to take a concentrated dose of medication for a month. I walked out of the office with 6 different prescriptions for medication. all of which should be taken daily. I panicked today, because of all the drugs, and all the precautions I need to take. Now that I know the logic behind what is happening, I worry more.
Good has happened as well these last two weeks. I got to see my two ridiculously cute nephews for three whole days. I got to talk to family members I've not seen in a while. And again, my faith in my friends and family is ever increasing.
1 Comments:
Ben je blog aan het lezen. Alvast innige deelneming, maar vind dat zelf zo'n loze uitdrukking. Daarom nt minder gemeend natuurlijk. Wist niet dat je zo close was met je grootvader.
Life sucks. Veel zure appels, maar blijven doorbijten zoals ze zeggen. Enfin, ik zie binnenkort :)
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