I spent this morning in bed, sleeping in. I had been doing very well with my new schedule, eating properly and keeping on track with regular everyday things. I even managed to get a run in before the week was out.
All this was to the good, but I could feel a sense of panic welling up in me at how good I was doing. I felt as if my mind wasn't catching up with my actions. My mind still wants to hide with it's metaphoric head in the sand. So I took the day off. This way, I won't be taking a day out of work later, and I won't be as tired going into next week. I'm sitting in the Orangeburg library writing this, trying to keep my mind from wandering into different rabbit trails. I've already made a summer dress I decided I don't like and made pancakes, and cleaned the kitchen. not much by way of accomplismnet but still. I'm focusing on enjoying myself. on doing what is enjoyable for today. I have the hardest time just enjoying myself. I'm hosting a game night tonight, and that is enjoyable. This is a rambling post, but The Goal here is for me to begin to give you all honest updates on what I am doing. And that is a hard enough venture right now. I know in time I will be able to read and edit my posts in a manner more satisfying to me, and probably to you, but right now, I am just forcing myself to keep the channels of communication open.