back home

well, I made it back to New York safe and sound. After a few days in florida and a week in georgia, re entry was a little confusing, all the people and noise and snow! but I'm happy to be in my own appartment again and snuggling with diego, who burst down the door tp see me this morning. transfering back into my own life after being in family life was harder than I thought. I struggle with the validity of my choices anyways and I don't much like my job. I do enjoy my studies, and my friends. I felt strongly the loss of family this time around. I think because my nephews have grown so much and I know they will grow more without me seeing them, and I have no family of my own. This is a recent development, as I am normally pretty content with the single life, going where I will and seeing whom I will, yet this season, I am coming to terms with loneliness. And it's a good thing. Thomas Merton states that one must push through the dessert of loneliness to reach the garden of solitude. It's interesting how some struggles have evened out for me, but have been replaced with different ones. I have to remember to look for the good in things as well, or I will be an eternal pessimist.
heading into work today is frought with many feelings. I do enjoy the details and finishing projects, but I am forever behind and must struggle to balance my workload with my new assistant's training. oh well. the vacation is over, and I'm back to work.