no house. long story.
nice dream, back to reality

and the realtor just called again. we're meeting the landlord soon. they seem to like us. I am not thinking about all the things that could go wrong. I am not at all. It seems at this point that things are going pretty smoothly. We might have someone interested in our old place, which means that we wouldn't have to leave it empty, which would make me feel nice about leaving, since the landlord has been extraordinarily nice.
more later

Here she is.. the realtor just called and we are going over to give our information today. This doesn't mean that we will get it. it just means that the renters are amenable to 4 chicas moving in. The house has a covered porch in the back and a patio area in the front, as well as ... ok. I am just going to stop talking about this right now, as I am getting pretty giddy, and I need to not hope too much. We also need to figure out all our finances. I am good for my share, which is all I can really worry about, right now.

frustration with suburban stereotypes is setting in. I've spent the day mostly in placating our temporary landlord, and in vieuwing other houses. We are trying to move, since the appartment is pretty cramped and we have an opertunity now with our lease up and some breathing space.
It's amazing what talking can do. everyone we've met face to face has really loved us ( including our current landlord, who slipped into sports annecdotes within minutes) but people don't like the abstract mathmatics of the situation. It's 4 girls ( although we are calling ourselves professional women now, since that seems to make things look better)
I mean, for crying out loud, all we want is a house and a garden to putter in, a kitchen to cook in and a living room to read in. As for me personally, I've gotten to the point where I've decided that if I can't have a family, I can at least have the house and the kitchen set and the little homey touches like a garden and a reading nook. I want some stability in my life at this point. to much change is a bad thing, even though I love seeing things and traveling.
I feel the need to be responsible and to settle down to some degree.
Anyways. the house hunt continues. Right now we're looking at a gorgeous two story 3 bedroom wood burning stove and covered porch beauty that makes me want to cry.
And in my head I keep saying, "I will not want it. I will not want it" but I do. I really do. I would have wished that it was something I could share with my husband and our large troupe of adopted ragamuffins, but as it is, I will share it with my wonderful roommates who are all passionate and amazing women from whom I learn allot. It's not a bad trade off.

The turner prize

I remember seeing this guy on the telly when they gave him the prize, I thought it was a laugh untill they handed him an obscene amount of money for rewiring the light fixtures. I remember his comment too "I can't really explain it, except that the lights DO turn on...and off" Sheer genius that. I guess it's liberating that we too, in the quite of our own homes, can be cutting edge artists, simply by flipping the lights on...and off. Repeatedly.
Enjoy that thought people.

Turner prize winner 2001:
For the Turner Prize exhibition, Creed has decided to show Work # 227: The lights going on and off. Nothing is added to the space and nothing is taken away, but at intervals of five seconds the gallery is filled with light and then subsequently thrown into darkness. Realising the premise set out in Work # 232, Creed celebrates the mechanics of the everyday, and in manipulating the gallery's existing light fittings he creates a new and unexpected effect. In the context of Tate Britain, an institution displaying a huge variety of objects, this work challenges the traditional methods of museum display and thus the encounter one would normally expect to have in a gallery. Disrupting the norm, allowing and then denying the lights their function, Creed plays with the viewer's sense of space and time. Our negotiation of the gallery is impeded, yet we become more aware of our own visual sensitivity, the actuality of the space and our own actions within it. We are invited to
re-evaluate our relationship to our immediate surroundings, to look again and to question what we are presented with. Responding to the actual condition in which he has been asked to exhibit, Creed exposes rules, conventions and opportunities that are usually overlooked, and in so doing implicates and empowers the viewer.

hmm. I went in to work at 12 today, and will leave the office at 8. talk about a skewered day. I am having a harder time than I thought with this whole working under my own supervision thing. although I do get things done beter in the afternoon. I feel like I'm going to turn into a version of dad with this blog idea, talking about work all the time. It's pretty much all I do right now. I'm redecorating my office... there's an ugly mural on one wall I can't get rid of so I am trying to work with it. I had my first rude phone call today, actually the person sounded more paranoid than rude, and reaallly didn't want to leave a message.
there should be more updates soon. saturday we're going hicking and then barbaquing, apparantly m's family gave her some venison and we're all doomed to eat it. I'm seeing that I am much more of a chicken type of girl. One of my life goals is still to raise, kill, butcher (do you butcher chickens?) and prepare a chicken. cause then I wouldn't feel so guilty about eating all this meat. Don't try to figure out the logic in that one.
I'm reading Kierkegaard now. Fear and Trembling, which is about Abraham so far and the mystery of it. It's a great book, since I am so used to seeing abraham as a 2-d caracter on the sunday school flanel board. ( I don't think people should knock the flanelgraph so much, it's a pretty wicked storytelling tool) and Kierkegaard paints him in somany different lights.
Well tonight I am going to go home and clean the living room and start some laundry.
If you could think to pray... the temporary roommate we had for the summer decided to move out quite unexpected and so we will need to find a replacement pronto. this is all happening while we are talking about trusting God more in church, so I see the application quite clearly, it's just a little daunting to think of 4 girls living together quite happily. We've all been very happy with each other this last year, so adding a new person to the mix, again is just a little haggarding to the mind.
Anyways.. oh. I went for a run the other day, and it was BEEEutifull. I love the sound of my lungs trying to commite mutany and suicide at the same time... sadistic, I know, but hey! it's good for you.
Except for the truck that decided to park straight across the road, forcing me to run straight up the hill to get around him. 30 meters almost vertical is enough to make the ironman wish for death by fish slaps..
anyways, more when there is more, I guess.

June 8 2008

It seems a weekly ritual to write something small to those people out there.

I’m looking back at the week wondering what I should write about… I hope my partial amnesia will wear away with time, but as a residue from college, I still have trouble looking back at the last week. Mostly it was work. I’m getting more involved with how things are working, and coming up with my own systems of doing things. Right now I am talking to prospective students, setting up auditions with them. It’s a little intimidating, because I still have only a rudimentary grasp of the different programs and the music program itself is it’s own little world. Students and their mothers who call, are all very nervous about admittance, and everything I say will be used against me at some point J I’ve been coming home quite exhausted, and sometimes with a headache, but this week has been better as I adjust to my work schedule. It helps that my boss, DK, has a very fatherly manner as well as a zany sense of humor. He’s in the office a floor above me and will call occasionally to check on me. Last time he wanted to know if there was anything that needed signed, approved, shot or knifed before he left… I gave him a few names for the later two. Also we’ve convinced E. to come and work for us, she used to be the administrative assistant’s assistant (I love saying that) for four years so she is a wealth of information. It’s good to ask her stuff sometimes because if she doesn’t know I feel less guilty about myself not knowing.. yeah perfectionist. That has been my biggest fear on the job. I am a perfectionist and as such, I will pretend things aren’t there because there is no perfect solution for them. I’m working on it.. I like this job because it does ask me to work on many of those sloppy areas in my life. The administrative side, the calling people out of the blue side…

Lot’s of training for future reference.

I also went shopping yesterday for more professional outfits. I felt very strange in a world of suits and blouses. Apparently I can look a full and ripe 45 years of age in the right ( or probably more appropriate: wrong) outfit. I found lot’s of deals, and it was surprisingly not at all as draining as I thought it would be, since I had a list of things I was looking for. I bought everything at a discount, of which I am a little suspicious. For example: most of JC Penny’s is continuously on sale. How does that work? I think these might be the actual prices and they just mark them on sale. Anyways, normaly the mall drains me in about two hours, but this time, and I hope it’s a one time thing, I actually felt exited about shopping. It’s a comfortable feeling to have enough money in the bank to pay rent and food and utilities and have enough to spare that I can spend money on items that are not necessary to survival, but conducive to life in general (such as dress slacks)

Its also been insanely hot here the last few days. Out of nowhere a blast of infernal magnitude has scorched the land. There are warnings out, and we’ve cranked up all the fans, feels like florida just without the airconditioning in stores.

Hmm.. oh, I watched Blood Diamond last night. It’s very intense, and graphic. There are a few Hollywood touches it could have done without…but wow. It was powerfull. Talk about the human condition. Basicaly it addresses the international forces that help fuel the illegal mining and selling of diamonds to fund the rebel armies linked with childsoldiers. The diamonds are minded using slave labour. The movie shows how everyone in essence is responsible in some small way (is there such a thing as a small level of responsibility?) for the war in Africa, but also that this is the human condition. We are all related by simply existing. I’m also reading a book called the forever war, which askes similar questions at one point. Having a global percpective could be hindering because it paralizes us (or at least me) in the small everyday actions. The larger problems seem so large and complicated that there is no solution and there certainly isn’t one in my lifetime..

Anyways, enough sermonizing.

That is all I can remember from this last week. I hope I get better at mentioning things.